Someone Needs to Get to a Dentist STAT!

I am sure Dakota Fanning is an innocent girl, but her teeth look like a pack a day, 30 cups of coffee waitress at the local diner.

Get thee to a denist my dear. And I thought my teefs were yellow.

Anyway, here is Dakota showing off her yellow chompers at some thing or other in Hollywood. She has the money so she should at least invest in some Crest White Strips.

The Mole

So is sanyone watching the new season? Trust on this, I never thought they would bring this smart intetelligent reality show back, but they did and I am happy as a clam.

I have no idea who the Mole is "yet" but here is a clip of the reveal of the first Mole with that delicious silver fox Anderson Cooper.

Lezzie Lohan

You know, I am starting to think this is some big publicity stunt to revive Lilo's career. She's got nothing else going on so she might as well tease the tabliods with her supposed Sapphic love. She can sell the story of how she found twoooo lurve with Samantha Ronson for at least a million. And I don't blame her for trying. I would in a flash. If people are willing to pay for lies, then more fools them.

Lezzie and that.....person...she is with went shopping for typical lesbian things like granola and birkenstocks and they made sure the paps were there to document every homosexual image.

I'm not buying this shit until they actually exchange rings in California where it is now legal for pervy McPerv's to get married. Methinks Lilo has been reading a biography of Elizabeth I and her famous quote: "Much suspected, but nothing proved."

I want to be able to say that in everyday conversation sounding like Alexis Carrington.

"Blake, much suspected, but nothing proven. Now get this junk out of my house." Tee hee.

Speaking of Lezzies!

I know Jodie Foster has never publicly come out, but anyone with two eyes pretty much knew she was a fishmonger. So a few weeks ago she was accepting some award for something or other and actually mentioned her partner by name, and who they have children by! Shocking but good for Jodie for taking the first steps to being free.

So imagine my disappointment when I found out a few weeks later that Jodie left her woman for another woman! I felt pain! Jodie? How could you do this to me? I thought you were a U Haul Lesbian, and it turns out your are a slutty gay man in a woman's body.

I have to take a pill to calm down.

Lezzies!

Okay, rumour has it that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are bumping uglies. They were spotting in Cannes this past weekend holding hands and kissing. To be honest, there isn't much of a surprise there. Lindsay always struck me as a free spirited type who doesn't care who tingles the unspeakables as long as the job gets done. What boggles the mind is that she would do it with that thing. Ronson looks like an extra from Dawn of the Dead.

But I digress. What actually boggles my mind is that this rumour (true or not) is hardly making a blip in the gossip rags! I think 10 years ago this would have ruined her career, but now it seems to be no big deal. Go progress!

If this is true I wish them well, but I think firecrotch will be back to dick pretty soon.

I Wonder If Posh Actually Ate Something?

This is just too cute and I had to post it. Posh took the soon to be future superstar Cruz (aka her son) out to a Pink Taco in LA the other day. I am not entirely sure what Pink Taco is, but I am guessing it is like McDonald's, but Mexican. And hey, if the kiddies love it, you have to give in sometime.

But seriously. Look at what Posh is wearing!!! Who wears shoes like that to take your kid out for a snack? And who brings an entourage? And photographers? She looks fabulous but I would KILL for a piccy of her in rollers, a threadbare robe and granny slippers.

Serial Mom (NSFW)

Okay I figured if Jane Fonda can say cunt on morning television I can post this clip from my favourite movie of all time.

Kathleen Turner as Serial Mom is one of her best roles and it shocks me she wasn't even nominated for and Oscar.

So here is the integral clip where we realize that her character is not June Cleaver as she harrasses her neighbour for stealing a parking spot at the grocery store. HA HA HA! Love it!



Here is Serial Mom giving Patty Hearst fashion advice.

Jane Fonda and the C Word

Now that Learning 2.0 is over I feel totally free to show the clip that Jane Fonda did when she let loose a curse word on Morning Television.

Freaking hilarious!



And I doubt Jane was sorry at all. She uses that word all the time. I have a strong feeling she called Ted Turner that numerous times.

Excuse My Beauty!

This is now my new catchphrase whenever I get in trouble.

The clip has been making the rounds of the blogs and it is freaking hilarious! Some ugly transexual is being arrested for god knows what and at the end of it she says she will never use her looks to make money on the stroll again. Excuse her beauty. Ha fucking ha!

So whenever a patron starts moaning about a fine, that is what I am going to say: "Excuse my beauty"

More Chantal

Love her!!!!

Chantel Chamandy

I don't really tend to do this on the blog but I have just heard of a fantastic singer I have to share with you. She is from Montreal but from Egyptian/Greek descent so I kind of see her as the new Cleopatra and you know how I like that sort of stuff.

Her music is a mix of pop with a touch of an exotic Arabic taste. You can dance to it, but it is also sensual. So I just wanted to share this new talent with you.

Speaking of Inappropriate Ads (Not Safe For Work!)

WTF is this? I was debating whether to post this or not, but it has been burning up the gossip blogs like crazy and I simply hate being left out of the loop.

PlayStation released this ad for some new gizmo or other. I am not into video games so I have no idea. So to promote it they use a naked man? And instead of making it worthwhile for us, they photo shop the peen out an put a thumb there? What a waste! And yes that is a thumb there.

This has got to be the weirdest thing I have every seen in my life.

They Will Never Learn

One would think after the "scandal" of the Vanity Fair pictures, Hanna Montana would be lying low. Not to be. She is now posing for one of those "Got Milk" ads with white liquid on her face.

I am no prude, but I have always found those ads a wee bit suggestive on so many levels, but it squeeks me out even more to see a 15 year old girl looking like she just gave her boyfriend a "present". This does NOT make me want to go out a buy a carton of milk.

Don't Ever Let Wino Be the Designated Driver

This cracks me up (no pun intended) but Amy Winehouse and a friend came back from doing whatever it is crackheads do. They get back to her place and the dude is passed out. So instead of waking him up and telling him to call a cab, she let him just sleep it off in her car.

Well, the dude wakes ups, instead of just staying put in the comfy back seat, decides to break into her house and sleep on her garage floor. The police were called and dude tries to explain the sitch. When they tried to reach Amy, she was passed out sleeping off an 8 ball, and nothing can wake you up after that. Not that I would know of course. I read about it somewhere.

Guess What I Will Be Watching?

When I first heard that Dina Lohan (mother of the drunk driver/actress Lindsay) was doing a reality show, I swore I would never ever ever watch it. I do have standards you know.

But after seeing this promo, I have been seduced by White Oprah. I would hang my head in shame at my taste in television viewing, but then I remembered I watched Caligula last night. It is a point of no return after you have seen Malcolm McDowell in bed with his horse. So the next obvious step is watching Dina pimp out her daughter for cash.

Step by step I am being led into hell.

Oh Canada!

"Step away from the flag. Put it down and move back."

This is a pic of Shawn Ashmore that was published in the UK edition of Cosmopolitan. He played some guy named Iceman in the X men movie, but the real question I need to ask is who let him out of the country? What a hunk! Don't let the Brits get him! Keep him here where I can keep an very close eye on him.

Mariah's Fiancee Is Cheap

This makes me laugh. Mariah Carey, who is literally worth millions, got engaged to some dude called Nick Cannon (never heard of him). He was engaged to some model called Selita before.

Well, turns out the dude gave Mariah the same engagement ring Selita returned to him when they broke up. Ha ha! Mariah is going to be PISSED when she finds out.

Not That I Care

Apparently a shitstorm is brewing over a Vanity Fair photo shoot featuring 15 year old Hannah Montana. The photos were taken by famed photographer Annie Liebovitz. I have seen the pics and they are no big deal, but of course people are up in arms about how she was exploited to sell magazines blah blah blah.

Shut up! Hasn't anyone seen how a high school girl dresses lately? These pics are practically demure. Anyway, Miley apologized to her fans for offending them. She should be apologizing for that lousy make-up job. She looks like a ghoul.

That's His Daughter!

Ewwww. Words fail me. But here is Hulk Hogan lubing up his daughter buttcheeks. Okay, it isn't lube, but sunscreen (I think) but STILL!!!!!

There are some things that just don't need to be seen.

Thank God Paula Abdul Is In This World

I don't really watch American Idol, but apparantly last night not only was Paula dipping into her meds, she must have stolen some of mine.

Paula Abdul Messes Up On American Idol
Uploaded by TheDlisted

Bet she would be a lot of fun to party with. But just make sure you keep your meds hidden.

This Has To Be a Joke!

People Magazine announced their 100 most beautiful people in the world and guess who is on the list? Rumer Willis. Yip you heard it right.

First of all, she might only be considered slightly pretty at closing time and you haven't picked up anyone yet. Don't look at me like that, we have ALL been there.

Second of all, what exactly does she do. She's not a singer or actress, yet for some reason she considers herself famous. This People thing is going to go straight to her head and we will never get rid of her.

Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

Now that all the work stuff is done, we can start by having fun again. To start off with, you have to see this video of a business man going bat shit crazy in a hotel lobby. I have so wanted to do that. Of course, he is not going crazy, but just having a big arsed temper tantrum.



I wonder if Ian wants to meet with him now?

Gaming And Virtual Worlds

Yay! The last assignment for work, then I can get back to my true love: celebrity gossip.

First of all, I am not a big game player on the computer. First of all, I don't really like downloading some of the software that may be required for certain games. And second, I am not a big game player.

I do play Mah Johng on line, but that is just to pass the time, and I have played Scrabulous through Facebook with friends from Toronto and around the world. The thing I liked about Scrabulous was that you can have different games with different people, and make your move days later if you had to because of real life concerns. Of course, I don't know why I cared because I ALWAYS lost. LOL

As for virtual worlds, again I am old fashioned. Not into snazzy graphics. But one of the reasons I first actually bought a computer was because of this one virtual world called Ancient Sites. Sadly it is no longer with us. But it is was what you would call a MUSH since it was bacically text only.

You would register under a name (I was Basil Domitius in the Rome group). Then you got a Domus (or house) where you could jazz it up with pictures if you wanted and where you would get your private messages (or PM's for short)

Then you could find an era of history you were interested in. In this case I chose the Byzantine Empire. Then what we would do every couple of months is decide which era we wanted to depict, select historical roles for ourselves, then tell the story. But you had to be historically accurate, while putting your personal stamp on the character. I had a lot of fun once writing obout the blinding of my character. How do you describe something like that if you have never been through it? But that was the idea, to get outside of yourself and write about something you know nothing about.

It was also a social enviroment since we would all go to the specific forum to discuss what our characters would do next and to make sure it stuck to facts as much as possible.

I am sure the technology has changed alot since those early days of Ancient Sites, but I am not sure nothing could take the place of good old imagination.

Gaming And Virtual Worlds.

Online Applications

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dxx827b_0hnzr3r4r#

This was my first attmpt at google docs and I quite liked it.

And this is the personal one I shared with my dear friend Petal.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dxx827b_2g46d7x8h

Podcasts and Youtube

Before I start, I just want to say that I love Youtube and similar sites like Dailymotion. Heck, if you are feeling naughty there is even an Xtube which is most definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK, so don't go looking it up on a work computer.

The thing I like about Youtube, is where else are you going to see the infamous lily pond fight between Krystle and Alexis? Or old obscure music videos from the 80's? It's a fantastic site.

Podcasts, on the other hand, aren't quite as exciting. But I did find some that interests me.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove

This is a link to Dan Savage's sex advice column, and it has links to his podcasts which are quite easy to click on and listen to. And you can subcribe to them through RSS if you are so inclined. Don't listen to them at work though.

EBooks

First off, let me say I am not a big fan of Ebooks. I like holding an actual book in my hand lying in my bed reading. Not sitting at a computer.

Also, I like my computer to have as less junk and programs on it as is absolutely neccessary. But for the sake of the assignment, I downloaded the player.

From Overdrive I got 24 Hours by Greg Iles only because it had a copy available. I also like the browsing function on Overdrive.

Netlibrary I found a little more difficult to find something of interest to me, but I did like that you could just click on a button (after you logged in with your library card) and view the book on the screen without having to download extra softward. So I chose The Aenied by Virgil.

I have to say, while I didn't find the procedures overly complicated, they were a lot more work than I am used to if I want to read a book.

I'm Back!

Sorry I have been away for so long, but sadly I have been having a rough time of it lately.

But I am back and not having as rough of time as Charlton Heston. Poor guy died yesterday at 84. He was the star of The Ten Commandments, Earthquake, Airport '75 and my personal favourite The Colbys. That was good times. I still remember when he shot Sable in the head. They don't make shows like that anymore.



But he is best known to me for Planet of the Apes. Not only is that movie classic, we got to see Chuck in a loincloth. That's when I knew I preferred him over that chick Nova.

RIP Chuck. Even though you loved guns and hated fags, I still have fond memories of you getting water hosed by the gorillas in that cage.

Speaking of Plastic Surgery

I don't know why, but I find myself fascinated with Miss Jenna Jameson. In case you don't know who she is, she is the star of Cum One, Cum All, I Love Lesbians, and Jenna Loves Pain. Yes, she is a porn star.

But somehow, she has managed not to overdose, make oodles of money and is a darling of the Hollywood paparazzi! You go girl! Porn stars are people too you know. I just wish she would lay off the botox. She is starting to look like a certain Presley.

Here's Jenna trying not to overdose the other night. I hope she made it through the night okay because she looks one eightball away from a trip to emergency.

Bozo The Clown

Prescilla Presley has always been a beautiful woman, but lately she has been looking a littly fugly. Oh who am I kidding, she looks like a nightmare.

Well now I know why. At first I just assumed she was going a little overboard with the botox, but turns out she is using car lubricant. Who knew you can inject products from Canadian Tire into your face to get back the dewey look of youth?

Turns out Prissy and a few other Hollywood types have fallen under the sway of some Argentian "doctor" and his snake oil. He has been having "injection parties" with the non-FDA approved silicon which is pretty much the same thing you put into your car. Jesus bloody Christ! I hope he at least warned them their eyes wouldn't squeak before he put the needle in!



You know, I think some of these aging Hollywood stars should take a page from the gorgeous Michelle Pfeiffer. I have seen plenty of recent pics of her, and it certainly doesn't look like she has had any work done. If she has, her doctor is worth any money spent. If she hasn't, she looks like how a well kept 48 year old should. She doesn't have bozo lips.

More Work Stuff

Okay, for our next assignment we were to use our work databases and use RSS to subscribe to a topic that interested us.

I chose masterfile and the topic was Hillary Clinton. Since I used a work computer for this part of the assignment I had to use my Google Reader account. I copied and pasted the URL of the syndication feed when prompted and voila! I started getting updates. It was quite easy actually.

For the second part of the assignment, I went to Academic Onefile and chose to be notified by email on the subject of border patrol. I have yet to actually receive any notices, but I can see how this would be a handy service to get up-to-date information from the work databases. That way you wouldn't have to keep going into the individual database periodically to check for new articles.

Back To Work

Okay, I am way behind, but I finally got to the Social Bookmarking part of the assignment.

It took a couple of clicks, but I finally uploaded a picture (seen here) of Diana from the best miniseries ever.....V. And I chose Area 51 as my theme because it seemed to be appropriate. I also added a couple of friends which wasn't too difficult. Hi Cyndi, Lennie, Charlene, and others.

I don't really like Facebook because it is not that easy to navigate IMHO. The ning thing Jenn set up isn't to bad because it is a rather closed enviroment so I hope we can keep it up. But I don't like that you can't leave a PM to a friend.

Are You Kidding Me?

Reports are out there that Angelina Jolie could be offered up to $10 Million for pics of her baby once it is born. Or it might be "they" as there are also rumours she might be having twins.

Ten million for a pic of a wrinkly baby? People I know can't wait to show you pictures of their babies for free, so what makes Angelina so freaking special? I honestly don't get all the fuss about Mizz Angelina Jolie. Yeah she's pretty, and she's an okay actress, but she is also pretty boring. I liked the Angelina of olden days who would make out with her brother and jump fully clothed into a fountain. Those were the days.

Dusty Springfield Just Because

Did you know she went out with Carole Pope?

Sex Tape Time!

It was only a matter of time before a Lindsay Lohan sex tape came out. That girl is famous, and a slut, so it was only a matter of time before some opportunist hooked up a camera in his room and invited her over for coffee.

The opportunist in this case is some douche named Callum Best who Lindsay was "dating" a few months ago. He apparently used his cell phone to tape some footage of her gums on his plums. Lindsay is freaking out because she doesn't even remember. Wild Turkey and 8 balls do things to your memory. A word to the wise. I know what I am talking about.

That being said, Callum is kinda hot in a douchebag way. I'd hit it.

Making the World a Better Place

Remember last year when Paris Hilton was in jail? You must have heard about it. Well, after she got out she announced she was a changed woman. Yes, she wanted to do "good" in the world and not party so much. So after about 8 months of non-stop partying and shopping, she has finally done good on her promise.

She visited an orphanage in South Africa!

You heard right. The world is now at peace because of the selfless generosity of Paris Hilton signing autographs at an orphanage.

Mother Teresa must be beaming with pride in heaven.

Pussy Love

This is just the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life so I simply HAD to share it with ya'll.

I wonder what they are saying to each other?

I Can Rest Easy Tonight

I have been terribly worried about Heather Locklear after hearing about her apparent suicide attempt. People that look that good have no need to off themselves. She probably just told her shrink she was going to dye her hair with that L'Oreal stuff she is shilling, and all the shrink heard was "die" and over reacted. Sheesh, can't a girl colour her hair in peace?

Here's Heather looking completely sane the other day. Nothing to worry about here. What the heck happened to her lips though? They look so wrong.

This is the Funniest Thing in the World

Heather Mills celebrated her big win fall by dumping water all over Paul McCartney's lawyer. What a class act eh? Heather apparently didn't appreciate some of the unkind comments the lady lawyer made about her. Greedy, goldigging whore may be unkind but it is the truth. Heather should just embrace it and move on to her next conquest.

Simply Gorgeous!

Let's take a moment to bask in the beauty that is chanteuse Amy Winehouse.

Okay, stop laughing now. Supposedly Wino has a nasty case of impetigo. I have no idea what it is but it is highly contagious. Why is she out in public then? I myself would never go out in public with that crap on my face. And I'm not talking about her make-up. Looks to me like she has been picking at the scabs. And look at those arms! It appears she is back to self cutting again. I feel kinda bad for her.

You know, now that I know such a disease as impetigo exists, who wants to take bets that a vengeful God is going to smite me with it?

I tell you now, if I get it I am calling in sick.

Catch-Up

I've been having so much fun doing my blog I have been lax in doing the things I was supposed to do for the blog. So I had better get cracking.

del.icio.us

I found this relatively straightforward to install (though I used a work computer, not my own, just in case ). I can see the practical applications for it if someone is using different computers. But just like RSS, if you only use 1 computer, just use the favorites function. Of course, it might be handy to have an outside source to keep all your favourite sites just in case your computer crashes and burns (I know what I am talking about here) and you need a back-up.

Here is my page at the site

http://del.icio.us/basileos

Library Thing

This site I really liked. I am always looking for new books to read and this is a great place to find out what other people are reading who have similar tastes as I do.

http://www.librarything.com/catalog/basileos

Hard Candy

That's the title, and this is the pic, of Madonna's new album cover. As you can see she hasn't listened to my advice to keep her granny legs closed.

That being said, I will be the first one to buy that album.

Did I say album? Frak! I am really showing my age!

Brit On A Budget.

Apparently, Britney Spears daddy has put her on a strict budget of only $1,500 a week. If you didn't know this, Brit's dad was awarded conservator something or other over her affairs. Meaning he now gets to treat her like every other 12 year old. Brit's not 12 of course, but she sure as hell as been acting like it.

I think it will be good for her to be getting an allowance. A bit too little too late, but it might give her pause to think. She probably won't be in the least grateful, but her weekly allowance is my monthly paycheck, so suck on that Brit and start budgeting like the rest of us do.

This Is Distressing

I have always liked Heather Locklear because not only did she play Amanda Woodward on Melrose Place, but she was Sammy Jo on Dynasty too! She also managed to live through being married to Tommy Lee. You don't get over something like that easily.

I thought she had settled down with that guy from Bon Jovi, but he left her for that skank Denise Richards, who proceeded to dump his ass.

Anyway, it looks like Heather is having problems. The LAPD got a call from someone who warned them that Heather was in danger of hurting herself! Gasp! The police went to her place and decided she was okay. It turns out Heather's shrink called the cops! Wow, who knew knew Heather had anxiety problems. She always seems so put together.

Please Heather, don't hurt yourself. I will always remember seeing you at Crystal Beach many years ago and you looked me in the eye across the security line and I knew we had a connection.

Okay, that never happened, but I did see her at Crystal Beach and she looked fine.

Madonna Is Back

I know you all missed her, so here is a new shot of her. She looks great, but I really do wish she would close her legs. Been there, seen it, smelled it.

I know she still likes to be edgy but when you are almost 50 it is time to act like it. Does Tina Turner pose like this? I think not.

Anyhoo, Madonna was finally inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night. Curiously, her hubby, Guy Ritchie, wasn't there. What's up with that? And why was Iggy Pop there? I have to say though, he looks pretty damn good for a senior citizen. Most senior citizens I know would be in bed by that time and not partying with Madonna.

Cruz Beckham Takes After Mum.

Check out this vid of 3 year old Cruz Beckham being a total media performer. Me thinks he loves being a showboater just like his mum. Loves it!

I did this for my Mum because she loves Posh.

So He Really Was There!

Britain's Prince Harry apparently has been in Afghanistan fighting the war over there. Colour me surprised. He went over there last December and the British media honoured the military's request that they not publish the news for fears of his safety. All that ended the other day when an American spilled the beans. So now Prince Harry has been pulled from duty and is back home.

I think whoever first spilled the beans should be ashamed of themselves. The Taliban had publicly stated that if the Prince ever stepped foot in their country it would be their number 1 priority to make sure he didn't leave with his head. I gotta give Harry mad props for putting his money where his mouth is and actually getting down and dirty with the troops.

Now that I have said something nice, I can do a little trash talking about him. A couple of months ago he gave an interview where he said he couldn't wait to leave England because he hates it there. What utter cheek! He lives in freaking palaces!. He gets oodles of money from the Civil List and doesn't have to pay taxes, and he decides to bite the hand that feeds him?

Harry, just keep your mouth shut and sit there and look pretty.

When Did Jlo Get So Dull?

Jennifer Lopez and hubby Mark Antony welcomed twin babies into the world on Feb 22 and the world held it's breath while waiting for the baby's names. Well the wait is over. She named them Max and Emme. What utterly boring names! I though Jlo had more imagination than that! I thought for sure she would name the girl Chiquita and the boy Flavio.

Go Ellen!

Just watch.

Big Brother 9

If you haven't started watching Big Brother 9 yet, I strongly recommend you do now before the more interesting people get voted out. Only two weeks into the show and we have had enough drama and shenanigans to last an entire season! Trust me on this!

The theme of this season is that people are paired up with their "soul mates" and they will play together as a couple, voting the same and making all decisions as one. Yeah, that is working out great. Actually it is because it is creating plenty of drama. Loves it!

So far this season, one partner of the gay male couple has left for undisclosed reasons, forcing the other to go "straight" with an evicted female brought back in the game. We have had girls (and guys) giving nightly strip shows, and we even had something that was one nip slip away from an orgy in the swimming pool one night. Two people have been taken away in an ambulance (don't worry, they are fine and were brought back in, but it was scary to watch). We have two "let's pretend we are lesbians", and fights too many to keep track of. The whole thing is a train wreck of epic proportions and I am loving every minute of it.

But my favourite has to be Natalie. Hands down. I honestly don't know what to make of this girl. First week in the house she performed oral on her partner Matt. She loves flashing her boobies off every chance she gets and just the other night performed a very raunchy strip show with Chelsia (which then led to the aforementioned orgy in the pool). But it is her stories that keep me riveted. She shares WAAAY to much personal information! Just last night she let the other ladies know she can....errrr...lactate. And she gave a demonstration. I won't go into details, but I can guarantee you that will not make it to the show. She also shared a story about losing a....ummmm...how do I say this delicately since you all are probably reading this at work....well I should just go for it. She lost a tampon for 5 or 6 days. She doesn't really remember how long actually. I'm not a woman, but how can you forget something like that? But I just loved the way she was so casual relating that story.

I hope she doesn't get voted out this week because I am sure she has plenty more stories to tell.

Natalie for the win!

Your Wish Is My Command

Younger sister of Lindsay Lohan, Ali, is desperate to be famous. She gave an interview with Teen Vogue, telling us that growing up watching big sis Linz get all the attention makes her want the same treatment. She loves getting asked for her autograph, and I have to wonder who actually asks her? Seriously, unless she walks around with a T-shirt with the words "I am the sister of Lindsay Lohan" on the front, I would have no idea who the hell she was, nor would I care.

I have a sneaky suspicion she will be pregnant soon so she can get the cover of People, just like the younger sister of another popwreck.

I'm Embarrassed to Say She is Canadian

Pamela Anderson recently married some dude named Rick Saloman. After two minutes, she filed for divorce and two minutes later changed her mind. Now this time she really really means it. She filed papers today claiming fraud as the reason for wanting a divorce.

Fraud? Um Pammy, this is the guy who made a sex tape with Paris Hilton. You can't tell me she didn't know what she was getting into. What a dunce. She probably thinks he cheated her by not making a sex tape with her. I know how Pammy thinks.

What a pair though. Just looking at that pic above makes me feel stoned. She looks like she has just smoked a doobie, and he looks like he is in the middle of a 5 day coke binge. I bet the only fraud perpetrated was after they married, Rick lost his drug connection and Pammy is bummed out. "He said he would have an unlimited supply!" He lied to me!

Speaking Of Celebuspawn

Just look at this! I remember when Rumer Willis was a bump in Demi Moore's tummy on the cover of Vanity Fair. Seems like only yesterday. Our girl is now all grown up. I feel so freaking old now.

I'm not one to speak ill of impressionable teenagers, but since Rumer put herself out there I think it is okay to talk trash. Let's just say that Rumer didn't get the goodlooking genes in that family. Demi? MILF. Bruce? DILF? Rumer? Um no way.

I almost feel bad for Rumer, but then I remember that she thinks she is fabulous and I snap out of it.

For Those Who Care

Jennifer Lopez finally gave birth to her twins, a boy and a girl. She's been pregnant for what seems a lot longer than 9 months so those babies must be huge.

She had a special room made up at some hospital in New York, and even the staff had to do rehearsals just in case someone tried to kidnap the wee ones. I've never understood why someone would go to the bother of kidnapping babies. I imagine it would take a lot of planning and what do you get for it? Poopy diapers! Yuck. No thanks. JLo can keep 'em. Of course Jenny won't have to worry about shitty diapers since she has probably already hired Elizabeth Hurley's ex-maid.

I Thought She Was Camera Shy?

Just the other day Lindsay Lohan was hiding from the cameras. This week she is baring all for New York Magazine. She is recreating Marilyn Monroe's famous last sitting for photographer Bert Stern. I've seen most of these pics, and while they are NSFW, they are pretty tasteful. Even Linz's mom Dina agrees with me. Of course, what else is she going to say?

If you want to see even MORE NSFW pics of Linz, pop on over to google, type in her name and "firecrotch". And don't say I didn't warn you. Hopefully one of the things Linz learned in rehab (and it certainly wasn't not to drink because she is still doing that) is how to wear panties when she goes out on the town.

What's That On Her Face?

I thought when you were pregnant you weren't supposed to inject salmonella into your face? Well that doesn't seem to be stopping Nicole Kidman. Those lips are botoxed to hell and back. Well, to be fair to Nic, maybe she just came from the dentist. Or had some really hot soup.

But whatever it is she is doing, she really should stop it right now. I am sure she looks fine without all that crap she is doing to herself.

Cheapasses!

Elizabeth Hurley and her multi-millionaire hubby Arun Nayer have been accused of only paying their maid 3 bucks an hour! Cheapskates! Violet D'Souza worked for the couple since 2003 and was forced to work almost 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. When they fired her last August, she decided to go to a tribunal to get some cash back, but before a verdict could be handed down, D'Souza was apparantly bought out for a 5 figure sum.

Not only are Hurley and hubby cheapos, they are dumbasses too. It's kind of common sense to make sure the people who know where you hide your sex toys are paid well and are happy. And don't forget they also serve your food.

Big Ole Stupid

I did my blogs readability test, and apparantly I am only Junior High. I am mortally offended.

TV Reviews

The Golddigger Hit the Jackpot

The Daily Mail is reporting that finally a settlement has finally been reached in the rather acrimonious Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce case.

Seems Heather will be getting $110 million dollars, which is what she has been asking for all this time. Paul originally only wanted to give her a fraction of that, her lawyers advised her to take it, so she fired them. Ha ha. And the cherry on top is that she represented herself in the end!

I have to say that while it sucks for Paul to have to pay out such a large sum for only a 4 year marriage, he should have known what he was getting into when he married her in the first place and made her sign a pre-nup.

That being said, I have to admire the gold digging tramp. I have heard she can be a real bitch, but when she was shilling for Dancing With The Stars she came across quite funny and didn't seem to take herself too seriously, so I just don't know who to believe.

Why So Shy?

Lindsay Lohan was spotted yesterday having lunch at The Ivy, and it seemed she all of a sudden didn't want to have her picture taken. Ummm, if she didn't want to have her picture taken, why sit out on the patio at The Ivy for goodness sake? Even I know that if you want to get your picture taken, that is the place to be. Hell, I could show up there and tell the paps I am really big in Canada and they would take my picture just in case I was telling the truth.

In other Lilo news, it appears Clint Eastwood isn't feeling the love. He was having a nice quiet dinner at some restaurant in Hollywood, when Lindz and her crowd came in, creating a firestorm of paparazzi interest. Needless to say, Dirty Harry wasn't impressed and decided to leave by the back door. When did Clint turn into such an old fart?

Throw Her In The Slammer!

I have very little idea of who Bai Ling, but she is always popping up on various gossip blogs because of her antics, so I decided to post something about her because I was feeling left out.

So this chick was arrested for shoplifting yesterday at LAX airport. She picked up two magazines and some batteries, left without paying and a store employee did a citizens arrest. Citizens arrest? Is that actually enforcable? Why not just say "Hey lady. You forgot to pay for that!" I suspect the employee probably did just that, but Bai insisted on getting arrested. She is such an attention whore.

Wash Her Mouth Out With Soap!

Jane Fonda was on the Today show this morning promoting her appearance in The Vagina Monologues when she let the "C" word slip out. Ha ha! It was so casual and Merideth Viera didn't even bat an eyelash. She must be used to hearing that word as much as Jane is used to saying it! Go Jane! She is still a firecracker even after all these years.

I wonder when the witch hunt will start. You just know that some self rightous prig is getting ready to write a strongly worded letter about how they will boycott NBC and any and all of Jane's movies. Someone else is probably getting ready to sue her because they were traumatized hearing that word while they were eating their Bran Flakes.

I was going to post the video clip here, but decided against it since I don't want any strongly worded letters sent to me. If you want to see it, use Google. Google is your friend.

Holy Cow!

Madonna was in Berlin last night promoting that short documentary she directed about Malawai (the country where she adopted that gorgeous baby boy). You can not tell me she hasn't had a little work done on that mug of hers. She looks pretty damn fresh for a 50 year old. She wasn't looking like that a month ago let me tell you. Bitch was looking tired!

I don't know who her doctor is, but I want his number. He does great work.