Lezzie Lohan

You know, I am starting to think this is some big publicity stunt to revive Lilo's career. She's got nothing else going on so she might as well tease the tabliods with her supposed Sapphic love. She can sell the story of how she found twoooo lurve with Samantha Ronson for at least a million. And I don't blame her for trying. I would in a flash. If people are willing to pay for lies, then more fools them.

Lezzie and that.....person...she is with went shopping for typical lesbian things like granola and birkenstocks and they made sure the paps were there to document every homosexual image.

I'm not buying this shit until they actually exchange rings in California where it is now legal for pervy McPerv's to get married. Methinks Lilo has been reading a biography of Elizabeth I and her famous quote: "Much suspected, but nothing proved."

I want to be able to say that in everyday conversation sounding like Alexis Carrington.

"Blake, much suspected, but nothing proven. Now get this junk out of my house." Tee hee.

Lezzies!

Okay, rumour has it that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are bumping uglies. They were spotting in Cannes this past weekend holding hands and kissing. To be honest, there isn't much of a surprise there. Lindsay always struck me as a free spirited type who doesn't care who tingles the unspeakables as long as the job gets done. What boggles the mind is that she would do it with that thing. Ronson looks like an extra from Dawn of the Dead.

But I digress. What actually boggles my mind is that this rumour (true or not) is hardly making a blip in the gossip rags! I think 10 years ago this would have ruined her career, but now it seems to be no big deal. Go progress!

If this is true I wish them well, but I think firecrotch will be back to dick pretty soon.

Guess What I Will Be Watching?

When I first heard that Dina Lohan (mother of the drunk driver/actress Lindsay) was doing a reality show, I swore I would never ever ever watch it. I do have standards you know.

But after seeing this promo, I have been seduced by White Oprah. I would hang my head in shame at my taste in television viewing, but then I remembered I watched Caligula last night. It is a point of no return after you have seen Malcolm McDowell in bed with his horse. So the next obvious step is watching Dina pimp out her daughter for cash.

Step by step I am being led into hell.

Sex Tape Time!

It was only a matter of time before a Lindsay Lohan sex tape came out. That girl is famous, and a slut, so it was only a matter of time before some opportunist hooked up a camera in his room and invited her over for coffee.

The opportunist in this case is some douche named Callum Best who Lindsay was "dating" a few months ago. He apparently used his cell phone to tape some footage of her gums on his plums. Lindsay is freaking out because she doesn't even remember. Wild Turkey and 8 balls do things to your memory. A word to the wise. I know what I am talking about.

That being said, Callum is kinda hot in a douchebag way. I'd hit it.

Your Wish Is My Command

Younger sister of Lindsay Lohan, Ali, is desperate to be famous. She gave an interview with Teen Vogue, telling us that growing up watching big sis Linz get all the attention makes her want the same treatment. She loves getting asked for her autograph, and I have to wonder who actually asks her? Seriously, unless she walks around with a T-shirt with the words "I am the sister of Lindsay Lohan" on the front, I would have no idea who the hell she was, nor would I care.

I have a sneaky suspicion she will be pregnant soon so she can get the cover of People, just like the younger sister of another popwreck.

I Thought She Was Camera Shy?

Just the other day Lindsay Lohan was hiding from the cameras. This week she is baring all for New York Magazine. She is recreating Marilyn Monroe's famous last sitting for photographer Bert Stern. I've seen most of these pics, and while they are NSFW, they are pretty tasteful. Even Linz's mom Dina agrees with me. Of course, what else is she going to say?

If you want to see even MORE NSFW pics of Linz, pop on over to google, type in her name and "firecrotch". And don't say I didn't warn you. Hopefully one of the things Linz learned in rehab (and it certainly wasn't not to drink because she is still doing that) is how to wear panties when she goes out on the town.

Why So Shy?

Lindsay Lohan was spotted yesterday having lunch at The Ivy, and it seemed she all of a sudden didn't want to have her picture taken. Ummm, if she didn't want to have her picture taken, why sit out on the patio at The Ivy for goodness sake? Even I know that if you want to get your picture taken, that is the place to be. Hell, I could show up there and tell the paps I am really big in Canada and they would take my picture just in case I was telling the truth.

In other Lilo news, it appears Clint Eastwood isn't feeling the love. He was having a nice quiet dinner at some restaurant in Hollywood, when Lindz and her crowd came in, creating a firestorm of paparazzi interest. Needless to say, Dirty Harry wasn't impressed and decided to leave by the back door. When did Clint turn into such an old fart?